Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine (eventual), Tina/Mike, Wes/Santana, Finn/Rachel, Quinn/Sam, Lauren/Puck, the ensemble.
Spoilers: Up through 2x14 "Blame it On the Alcohol". Jossed by everything thereafter.
Word Count: 5100
Summary: In which asbestos is responsible for New Directions and the Warblers teaming up.
Notes: I joked New Directions and the Warblers should just team up (because Westerville and Lima are apparently a five minute drive from each other in the Glee universe). Title stolen from Muse's "Apocalypse Please". This fic is so self-indulgent; I can't even. I just wanted a flimsy excuse to write a fic where everyone were bros, all the stuff gets lampshaded, and Kurt and Blaine sing a song from bare (and there's a spoiler for the end of the musical).
declare this an emergency (this is the end of the world) [2/2]
Kurt has endured Sue Sylvester’s crazy practices and even more insane Cheerios diet, he spent two weeks keeping vigil over his comatose dad at the hospital (two weeks of very little sleep), and he has survived midterms at Dalton, but never before has he ever been this exhausted in his life.
He supposes that’s what he gets when he willingly agrees to dress forty-five straight, sartorially challenged high school boys in one afternoon.
(It had been a rather ambitious of him, but like he had said countless times before: makeovers were like crack to him. There was something so therapeutic about going through sad-looking wardrobes and separating the unwearable from the wearable – and supplementing the rest courtesy of the Columbus Shopping Center and a maxed out credit card.)
But mostly, he blames most of his exhaustion on Wesley Lee, because most of the other guys had been quite content to purchase whatever Kurt picked out for them. Wes, on the other hand, took it upon himself to debate the merits of each item of clothing Kurt chose, which was really rich because Wes’s wardrobe is so distressing that it makes Kurt want to claw his eyes out with kitchen cutlery on a daily basis.
Wes has the worst dress sense; unparalleled to anyone Kurt has ever met, which is quite impressive considering how he has been going to school with Rachel Berry his entire life.
But seriously, it’s terrible. So terrible, he had originally thought Wes had been making some sort of ironic statement at McKinley by sporting his Dalton insignia-less blazers. However that theory was quickly tossed aside because:
a) Wes was many things, but he was also the antithesis of what most people would call "a hipster".
b) It didn’t even begin to explain Wes’ affinity for wearing Easter pastel-colored dress-shirts paired with atrocious argyle-patterned sweater-vests in Dalton colors.
c) Seriously. Robin blue striped dress shirt. Kelly green and mustard yellow argyle sweater-vest. Kurt had nearly walked into the school flagpole when Wes got out of his car Thursday morning.
It’s not until he asks Wes, “Tell me, does your mother still buy clothes for you?” (and Wes’s puzzled but affirmative response) did Kurt start to understand how Wesley Lee came to own such a heinous wardrobe.
It also makes him wonder if Wes (or his mother) is color-blind.
“Did you manage to get him to part with the jacket?” Blaine asked him, after the mall extravaganza, when the two of them reconvene at Lima Bean for some much needed caffeinated beverages. “I think he got slushied twice for that on Thursday."
"Yes, but barely."
"Good," Blaine says approvingly. "Because I've been telling him not to wear them on dates. They kind of make him look like a tool."
Personally, Kurt thinks that Blaine is acting far too self-righteous for a guy who wore polo shirts and khakis on his first day of public school, but he lets that slide. And before Kurt could even attempt to get up from his chair, Blaine rolls his eyes and makes a “don’t bother” motion before going off to order and pay for coffee and muffins for them both.
“This probably full of empty calories and I don’t even care,” Kurt sighs happily, over his non-fat peppermint mocha and blueberry muffins.
Blaine raises his eyebrows. “It’s just a muffin. Seriously, you’ve probably burned enough calories just by running around, herding all the guys from Macy’s to Nordstrom and back.”
“Muffins,” Kurt says, quite loftily, “were invented so we as a people would feel less guilty about eating cupcakes for breakfast.” He ruins his point by picking apart his muffin, but adds, “Coach Sylvester told me last year that my hips were pear-shaped. But she hasn’t said a word this year. So I’m taking it as a good thing.”
Growth spurts, Kurt had decided quite a while ago, were fantastic things even if they meant that he had to keep getting his clothes altered at the tailor’s.
“Right,” Blaine agrees, looking at him funny. “I’m certain that makes perfect sense to some people.” Kurt decides to ignore him.
“When did I suddenly become queer eye for 45 guys?” Kurt wonders out loud.
Blaine coughs. “Because I happen to not perpetuate certain stereotypes?” At Kurt’s glare, Blaine gives him the rest of his enormous banana-walnut muffin as a peace offering.
Santana (9:34): is wes gay or st8?
Kurt (9:45): straight, very straight
Santana (9: 48): then y do i keep thinking he’s gayer than a purse full of skittles?
Kurt (9: 55): Blaine says that Wes has six older sisters.
Santana (10: 07): damn that makes so much sense now
Santana (10: 09): wait blaine is with u rite now?
Santana (10:10): wanky wanky hummel
Apparently attending a school with time-honored Dalton traditions and an Honor Code has made Wes anal beyond all belief.
It does, however, prove to be very entertaining for the first few glee practices when he and Rachel continually butt heads over song selections for Regionals while Mr. Schue ineffectually stands off to the side, looking visibly distressed.
David had taken to transferring to McKinley rather well and spent most of the time consoling Thad who had not been adjusting quite so easily. Every now and then, Thad would move his head off of David's shoulder and glare witheringly at the members of New Directions and mutter something about transferring to Carmel High. Almost everyone stopped paying attention to Thad after the third time he made that particular threat.
"Not that I particularly care, but is there any reason why Wes is surlier than usual?" Kurt asks, after watching Wes and Rachel argue about changing the name of New Directions. He's pretty sure that they're not going to be doing any singing for this rehearsal, which is fine by him. He's still worn out from the morning's Cheerios practice and is perfectly content resting his head on Mercedes' comfortable shoulder.
Apparently, Wes wants to change it to "The New Warblers" or "Warbling Directions" to better represent the merging of the two groups, and Rachel is having none of it. From the sounds of things, she had used the surplus of the Cheerios' budget to order New Directions sweatshirts for everyone and it would be too late to change the name.
"Wes," Blaine says, in a low whisper from Kurt's left, "just received a 'Dear John' text from his now ex-girlfriend because she's upset that he doesn't go to Dalton anymore. That is why he's been irritable all week. He tends to get worse when he's single."
"Oh my god, you're kidding me." Kurt sighs, rolling his eyes. "Well, he's not going to get any female attention if he continues to dress like a male version of Rachel Berry."
"I can try to convince him to put his new wardrobe to use?" Blaine offers.
"You do that," Kurt agrees. "I'm pretty sure that Rachel just likes arguing. That, or she's getting frustrated that her relationship with Finn is at a standstill and likes the weird, intense, sexual tension she gets when she and Wes argue."
"... I am going to pretend I didn't hear that," Mercedes says, amused.
"You have the most comfortable shoulder in the entire world. Blaine's shoulder is far too bony."
Mr. Schue claps his hands, causing everyone to look up. "All right guys," he says, laughing awkwardly. "I think it's a little too late to change the name of our group, we've already registered with 'New Directions'. Why don't we work on our assignment of the week? Choreography's going to be tricky since the guys outnumber the girls now, but I'm thinking we should spice things up with 'Sexy' as our theme - "
"Assignment of the week?" Kurt hears Trent mutter from a row behind. "Do you guys ever work on your actual competition numbers?"
"No," Tina replies, sounding resigned. "Well, not until the week of the competition anyway."
For someone so tiny, Rachel has a surprisingly strong grip.
Kurt suffered through the hour-long rehearsal (watching the Warblers mess up choreography, stepping on each other's toes, and altogether making idiots of themselves in front of all the girls in the room). By the end of practice,he wants wanting nothing more than to go home and maybe squeeze in a quick nap before dinner but Rachel somehow coerces him into taking her to Lima Bean.
And then she proceeds to interrogate him about how he's adjusting to McKinley and if Karofsky's giving him any trouble.
It's like an eerie case of déjà vu.
"It's fine. All the guys have took it upon themselves to shadow me from class to class," Kurt tells her over his coffee. The caffeine means that he's not going to get his nap in, but at least Rachel had insisted on paying. "I think even Lauren is trying to help. I overheard her threatening to sucker-punch Azimio if he even looks at me wrong."
"Good!" Rachel nods approvingly. "I mean, not that I condone physical violence but I'm glad that no one's giving you any problems. I also applaud your efforts to help the Warblers integrate themselves to a public school setting. You're a team player."
"... I took them shopping."
"Precisely! I bet they have been receiving fewer slushie facials since they stopped wearing sweater-vests and khakis. I mean, if you're wearing a sweater-vest, you're kind of asking for it. I think the only reason why they don't slushie Artie everyday is because he's on the football team, he's in a wheelchair, and he's now dating Brittany."
Insensitive, completely tactless to say, yet entirely true.
"It's a shame," Rachel continues, oblivious to how offensive she's being, "That you haven't gotten to Wes yet. He's still wearing those blazers."
"Rachel," Kurt interrupts, sighing. "Why do I get the impression that you actually want to talk about something else? Not that I doubt your commitment to the Warblers Assimilation Motion, but what is this really about? As much as I loathe to admit it, but we're friends now. You can tell me."
It's like he said the magical word: all of the sudden, Rachel is telling him all about her relationship woes, completely disregarding the fact that:
a) Kurt had a crush on Finn. (Had being the operative keyword.)
b) Last year, Kurt gave Rachel a terrible makeover over Finn.
c) Finn is now Kurt's stepbrother. Shouldn't she be talking about this to Mercedes or someone - anyone - else?
"I think Finn is unhappy that our relationship isn't as physical as he would like."
"Why are you telling me this?" Kurt asks, pained. "I'm related to him. He's now my brother!"
"Not by blood though!" Rachel responds brightly, as though that makes all the difference. She determinedly ignores Kurt's reply ("We live in the same house, we even share a bathroom!"). "I'm afraid that Finn is going to get tired of our relationship if I don't let him go... further."
"Wait, let me ask you this: didn't Jacob quote you on his blog last year? Something about girls wanting sex as much as guys?"
"And - oh my god, why am I even saying this - are you interested in Finn in that way? Physically?"
"I mean, yes," she concedes, "I do - "
"And you're not still emotionally scarred by Jesse St. James, are you?"
"Of course not. Finn is completely different and my feelings for him are much stronger. And it's not like I don't want to, but I think we should wait until we're completely ready such a big step. We're waiting for the right time," Rachel insists.
Kurt rolls his eyes. “For what, the End of Times? Armageddon?” he inquires pleasantly.
He doesn’t miss the thoughtful look that crosses Rachel’s expression before she (thankfully) abruptly changes the topic so he can stop feeling like he's her Fairy Godmother. Only gay.
That evening, Finn returns home from his movie date in considerably high spirits.
Kurt pretends not to notice; although Finn isn’t all that subtle with his impromptu ‘Yes, I got to THIRD BASE!’ victory dance/stomp up the stairs. Flaily fist-pumps were most definitely involved; Kurt is continually grateful that he and Finn are not related by blood.
Well, at least one of them is getting some action.
Blaine made good on his promise to talk to Wes.
Santana’s been making eyes with Wes since his wardrobe transformation; hopeful ones alternating with mildly disgusted ones when she realizes exactly what she’s been doing. All and all, it is very amusing to watch her try to look uninterested when Wes takes Rachel’s bait (“I don’t think that you or any of the Warblers with the exception of Kurt can sing a Mika song – “ “Challenge. Accepted.”) and his strong, clear tenor voice manages to snarl all the words of Love Today in Rachel’s general direction.
“In case you’re wondering, yes, Wes has all his equipment,” Kurt informs Santana under his breath after Wes’ performance; everyone’s busy applauding and Rachel is attempting to mask her look of surprise. She still hasn't perfected the art of being gracious when she's proven wrong; but Kurt will concede that she's getting better about it. “He honestly is straight; his girlfriend just broke up with him, and I’m pretty sure he’s only being this much of a hardass because he hasn’t gotten laid for weeks.”
“Perv,” Santana replies, without any heart, because Kurt already knows she’s thinking of the last part of his comment and mentally adding I can fix that to it. “I bet you got an eyeful of his goods in the locker room at that Gay Hogwarts school of yours. It's like a gay school of dancing gays.”
"I'm not even going to respond to that."
"I guess he is, to quote your idol, hot like Mexico, rejoice," Santana murmurs thoughtfully. "Even if he is the most unconvincing heterosexual I have ever met."
After rehearsal, Santana manages to convince Wes to buy her dinner at Breadstix.
The next day, a visibly more relaxed Wes shows up at glee practice and doesn’t argue with Rachel once: instead, the two of them come to a sort of truce. Plus, they managed to convince Mr. Schue to not choose a Journey song for Regionals. The two of them (and Thad) must have gotten together at some point because they presented Mr. Schue with a PowerPoint presentation (with bright, colorful charts) that depicted winning Nationals song selections - very few of them were of 80s power ballads.
In the end, Mr. Schue decides to the "new and improved" New Directions should vote on the song selections for Regionals instead of choosing random songs from his iPod on shuffle, which means that they are one step closer to actually finalizing the set list for Regionals.
Kurt counts it as a win; especially since there had been a priceless moment when Mr. Schue had meant to refer to Rachel and Finn as the group's "star singers". Half the new members had either looked at Quinn and Sam or Santana ("Flattering, but no," Santana drawls, "Try Shortstacks and Quarterback over there."), reminding everyone exactly how in the dark they were to New Directions' talents.
Rachel had taken the Warblers' skeptical expressions as a challenge and proceeded to blow them out of the water with an impressive impromptu rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar's "I Don't Know How to Love Him".
Blaine had whistled after her performance, "She sounds so much better than I remember."
Rolling his eyes, Kurt had reminded him: "That's because you were drunk the last and only time you heard her sing."
"Oh. Point taken."
And then Mercedes had decided to sing Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" and the Warblers spent the rest of practice picking their jaws up from where they dropped them on the floor.
And then for a hot minute, they were going to do original songs for Regionals.
"The song I'm going to perform," Puck announces to the entire club, apropos nothing, "is titled 'Blue Balls'. It is dedicated to a very special someone." And then he begins to sing, to the tune of the chorus of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire":"I've never been this celibate, it's driving me crazy - just like Lauren Zizes -"
Thankfully, after hearing the results of that particular experiment, Mr. Schue vetoes Rachel's idea.
Unfortunately, what that means is that the Warblers and New Directions spend the next two practices arguing over song selections.
On a whole, the Warblers are accustomed to performing Top 40 songs in eight part harmonies and one (male) lead soloist (read: Blaine); they are also used to having their set list prepared two months in advance of the actual competition.
New Directions (accustomed to being sabotaged by Coach Sylvester) are used to throwing together numbers right before the actual competition. Most of their numbers are either Broadway classics or old rock songs; genres that the Warblers don't quite know how to do, acapella.
It makes song selections immensely difficult.
"I think we should do Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' -" Artie comments, during a brief lull between squabbling.
Almost immediately, Mercedes, Finn, Nick, and Jeff crack up (and Kurt thinks that even Blaine is trying to hide a smile) but his suggestion fails to impress Mr. Schue, Wes, and Rachel (Rachel: "Artie, we are not Rick-rolling a show choir competition!").
"I bet Vocal Adrenaline is doing something incredible right now," Thad mutters into David's shoulder. "They are probably gearing up for Nationals, right now, as we argue over whether Bon Jovi is a feasible choice for Regionals."
"Oh, shut up," Lauren Zizes snorts.
Amazingly enough, Thad doesn't say another word for the rest of practice.
"Don't shank her, she's just trying to help," Mercedes hisses in his right ear. "We need her voice for Regionals." From the row behind, he can hear Tina sucking in a breath before reaching over and squeezing his shoulder in a comforting manner.
Or maybe she's restraining him from tackling Rachel to the ground - that's also possible.
In front of the entire glee club, Rachel Berry is extolling the virtues of the Broadway musical bare and how powerful, uplifting, and beautiful the music selection was.
"And," Rachel proclaims, loudly. "I think that the titular due - Noah, stop laughing, you are being incredibly immature - between the characters Peter and Jason would be a great song to perform at Regionals." She beams. "I nominate Kurt and Blaine for their respective parts."
"Seconded," Jeff calls out brightly, raising a hand.
Kurt knows Rachel honestly means well (this was probably her way of thanking him for their talk at Lima Bean) but dear lord does she just fail at subtlety.
Kurt decides that he officially hates his life when Blaine gamely bounces out of his seat, pulls him along to the front of the room, and Rachel practically throws the sheet music at the two of them.
"I'm singing for Jason?" Blaine says, not quite asking, but looking back and forth between the lyrics in front of him and at Kurt. He only has time to nod, before Blaine smiles and sings the first verse,"Do you remember the day that you met me? I swear it was yesterday; I knew with a glance."
It's strange and oddly intimate, singing with and to Blaine in front of everyone. It's not Blaine pretend-serenading him in the senior commons, it's not the two of them in a study room singing "Baby It's Cold Outside" after hours, it's them in front of Mr. Schue and all their friends.
Kurt is suddenly overwhelming aware that this is his first duet with a boy. And not only that, but thanks to the meddling of one Rachel Barbra Berry - it's with the boy he's totally in love with (who doesn't return said feelings).
It's a miracle that he doesn't end up stuttering over the line about Blaine - or rather Jason - kissing him; "And time seemed to freeze."
The lyrics are unfamiliar enough that they couldn't even try to improvise choreography. Instead, it's probably what Kurt imagined Broadway read-throughs were like - the two of them standing in front of each other by the piano, looking up occasionally from the sheet music.
"God, I love you," Kurt sings, wishing the words weren't hitting so close to home. He determinedly keeps his eyes on the music and wills himself not to look at Blaine.
"From the start," Blaine's voice joins his at the end.
There's a brief moment after the music stops and before the applause start, when Kurt accidentally meets Blaine's dark eyes and it's hard to figure out what Blaine's thinking; but there's an undercurrent of something, before Blaine's expression shifts. Then all of the sudden, Blaine grins at him, closing the distance between the two of them to bump his shoulder against Kurt's and telling him that they sounded good together - they always sound good together.
"Hold up," Santana calls from the back row. She holds up her Blackberry, which was opened up to the show's Wikipedia page. "Is this the song they sing right before Tweedle Gay Jock dies from a drug overdose?"
Before Rachel could answer, Mr. Schue shakes his head: "Wonderful song choice, Rachel. Kurt, Blaine, you two did a great job but I don't think this is the right song. Frankly, I don't think the judges will go for it."
"I don't think it's even possible to make that song into a group number," Finn muses out loud. "I guess it's possible. But wouldn't it be kind of hard? I mean, it's still better than Blaine's suggestion - no offense dude - "
"'I Touch Myself' by The Divinyls is a classic," Blaine tries again, dead earnest, causing Kurt to be embarrassed for him, because really. Blaine and his inappropriate song choices. "Really, think of all the great potential harmonies."
"Dude, have you ever looked at the lyrics?" Puck wants to know.
Blaine blinks. "I don't understand."
"Well," Rachel says cheerily, looking not at all disappointed that her idea got shut down. "I guess we'll just have to come up with a different number then."
In the end, they reach a compromise by deciding on a Beatles medley for their big group number. ("Everyone likes the Beatles," Artie points out, "There's no way we could lose.")
New Directions still had sheet music from "Hello, Goodbye" and for all his constant threats to change schools, Thad is a magician when it comes to arrangements; he manages to alter the Warblers' old arrangement of "Silly Love Songs" to work, which means that both New Directions and the Warblers only have to learn two new songs for the number opposed to three - and with their tight schedule, every little bit helped.
They eventually decide on "I Will" as the transition song between "Hello, Goodbye and "Silly Love Songs". Namely because it's a relatively simple song, but also because -
"I think Kurt and Blaine should get the leads and sing it as a duet," Rachel says, beaming excitedly from the front row, once the song was decided by a vote.
"Seconded!" Jeff calls out, grinning widely.
Kurt regrets giving the blond a makeover out of spite.
From that point forward, deciding on the second number - Pink's "Raise Your Glass" - only felt right. Catchy, upbeat, and the lyrics are frighteningly relevant to their experiences at McKinley. The song's also fun enough that it would hopefully distract the judges from the collective Warblers' (and Finn's) complete lack of coordination in the dancing department.
In retrospect, once they actually started choreographing for the actual numbers, Kurt supposes they had been overly optimistic about the last part.
(At least this time, they started with the choreography a week and a half before actual competition. It's a new record for them.)
For the last fifteen minutes, he could tell Mike had been trying to find a nice way to tell Blaine that there wouldn't be furniture for him to jump on when they're performing on stage at Regionals.
Finally, Brittany just turns to him and says, rather bluntly, "You kind of dance like you're in Happy Feet" before going off to help Nick with his footwork.
It's not that Nick or any of the Warblers were bad dancers - they just tend to forget all the steps when a girl is within two feet of them.
... It's actually kind of a problem.
"I can totally give you some pointers," Mike hurriedly says to Blaine, looking completely sincere. "Really. Even Finn has gotten better. He used to be really bad."
"Mike's a great teacher," Kurt confirms, when Blaine turns to him, looking sweaty and bewildered that his bopping around and occasional spinning isn't working. "And it's not like you or anyone from Dalton is bad - " he crosses his fingers behind his back - " - But you have to admit, we do a lot more active choreography in this group. We won't be shuffling around on risers."
"Right," Blaine replies, looking uncharacteristically flustered. "I'm - just going to go refill my water bottle. I'll be right back."
"Kurt, you can get Blaine up to speed with the moves from 'Raise Your Glass' when he gets back, right?" Mike asks. At Kurt's nod, he heaves a sigh of relief. "Thank god for David - he's a natural for picking up the choreography. Britt and I can probably figure something out with the rest of the guys - maybe if the girls get passed off between them in the numbers, they could do easy lifts. It'll look impressive on stage. They can sway in the background in the mean time." Mike's eyebrows etch together as he observes Trent accidentally colliding with Alex, when it becomes his turn to do a simple two-step with Mercedes. "Of course, that would involve the guys not flinching whenever they come in contact with a girl."
"I'm sure you'll figure it out."
"Thanks. I have to ask, is that a comfortable position?" Mike asks, staring down at him. "That looks like it hurts."
"Coach Sylvester has made me do this so many times, I think I've officially lost all nerve endings in my thighs," Kurt reveals, from his front full split before leaning forward to stretch his back. "Now, I find this to be strangely relaxing. Everyone from my yoga class is jealous."
"Huh." Mike tilts his head. "Maybe we can incorporate that into the number. Some free-style. I wonder what's taking Blaine so long."
Kurt pulls himself into a sitting position with his legs out in front of him, outstretched. He reaches for his toes before attempting to pull it up behind his shoulder, feeling the stretch. "He's probably having a crisis of confidence. I think he might have overheard Rachel's comment earlier."
Rachel had told Kurt in a poor attempt of a whisper (she's too accustomed to projecting her voice), that whenever Blaine pulled one of his exaggerated facial expressions she half-expected that to be a cue for small forest animal friends to pop up from nowhere to accompany him on stage. Really, Blaine's dance moves could be tolerable if you get over his odd, unfortunate habit of jumping onto random pieces of furniture.
A few minutes later, Blaine reappears with an empty water bottle, still looking slightly flushed. "Ready when you are."
Sucking in a breath and pulling himself together, Kurt ushers Blaine down stage where there's more room for them work. Then he and corrects Blaine's form. "Okay, in this song, we start singing from our positions on the stage..."
At least they're not doing the 'starting singing from behind the audience' thing again; Kurt had it on good authority (Coach Sylvester) that Aural Intensity had been tipped off about New Directions' signature and had barricaded the back doors.
Rachel and Finn are doing well with their duet, judging by the response from the audiences.
"Hey," Blaine's voice says from behind him; Kurt feels the warm, comfortable weight of Blaine's hand on his shoulder. "Kurt - are you nervous?"
"This is completely different from Nationals," Kurt confesses, babbling. He can feel his heart hammering in his chest. "It's not like anyone other than Coach Sylvester would have noticed if I messed up a line of my Celine Dion medley. It was in French! And that was a cheerleading competition. They probably would have been more critical about whether or not my elbow was bent in the correct forty-five degree angle."
"Kurt," Blaine repeats, sounding amused - which is easy for him, because he's used to being the front man for the Warblers, he's used to all the solos. "You look like you're five seconds away from a panic attack, seriously." Blaine side-steps around him, but his grip on Kurt's shoulder is still firm. "You're going to be fine. In fact, you'll be amazing."
Kurt swallows, then looks Blaine in the eye: "Our practices haven't been quite right. We've been practicing this song for a week and it still feels wrong."
Blaine softens. "That's not true - "
"No, you don't understand!" Kurt exclaims, suddenly furious, because Blaine and the Warblers - they don't, not really. They hadn't been there last year, when New Directions lost and even Santana Lopez had been upset that glee club was over. "This is actually bigger than just you and me. New Directions needs to make it to Regionals. We don't have a second chance; our club will get disbanded if we don't make it. And if we lose because we don't have chemistry - "
"Kurt, that's not - "
"If you don't like me back, I can deal with it. But for just one song -" Kurt takes a deep breath, "Just one song, for three minutes, please forget your entirely platonic feelings for me and just pretend - "
He hadn't even been aware that Blaine's free hand had been curling around the nape of his neck; he has a split second to realize what's about to happen before Blaine tilts his head downward and kisses him; very carefully, insanely chaste and utterly fantastic.
Kurt's brain has only got with the program before Blaine pulls away, looking sheepish and nervous.
"Finn told me that you guys work best when you're loose," Blaine murmurs, voice husky. "And I've wanted to do that since Rachel made us sing that duet in the choir room and I realized - "
He looks like he's about to say something else when the familiar beginning notes of "I Will" swells - his cue.
A flash of annoyance flickers across Blaine's features at being interrupted: he hesitates for a moment, before quickly kissing Kurt again - this time, it's a little less careful, a lot less chaste, and even more fantastic.
Blaine then adds in a rush - "That I've loved you, and I loved you from the start", echoing Jason's lines (which Kurt could not help but note half- fondly and half-exasperatedly, are probably completely inappropriate from the context of the original scene because Jason ends up dying of a drug overdose but he appreciates the sentiment) before stepping into the spotlight and joining the rest of New Directions on stage, looking composed and polished as ever, singing the first verse:"Who knows how long I've loved you; you know I love you still".
Kurt waits patiently in the wings for the build-up to the chorus for his turn to step into the bright lights and sing his solo, and for the first time, not he's afraid to mean every word of it.
They win Regionals.
Aural Intensity never even stood a chance.